


Literal Kryptonite

by dancing_in_the_rain



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, kara and lena gotta figure shit out, literally kryptonite au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-22 21:33:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9626219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancing_in_the_rain/pseuds/dancing_in_the_rain
Summary: After a night of working late Lena Luthor is abducted by two CADMUS agents and subjected to a very experimental method of hurting Supergirl. The plan devised by none other than her own Mother, Lillian Luthor has finally found a way to combine Supergirl's two greatest weaknesses.orLena is literally kryptonite au





	1. Chapter 1

“Agent Danvers, there is a video from CADMUS you need to see immediately.” J’onn spoke as Alex arrived at the DEO. She had gotten an emergency call at 4am and had just walked through the door rubbing at her eyes slightly. Early call ins weren’t unheard of at the DEO but how vague J’onn had been over the phone and suddenly a word of a video from CADMUS had Alex feeling slightly on edge. At J’onn’s words she straightened up and briskly followed behind him as they made their way to where the main monitors were. “We were sent this a few minutes before I called you.” J’onn nodded towards the agent at the computer.

The video was played by the agent and Alex’s eyes widened. There tied to a chair looking worse for wear was Lena Luthor, her younger sister’s girlfriend. As far as she could tell from the video Lena was alive. The video played for a good 3 minutes two men could be heard laughing taunting the unconscious Luthor before one of them finally spoke directing words to the viewer.

_“…We just thought we better let Supergirl know we have the one Luthor she always seems to deem worth saving, we’ll be done with her soon…”_

The screen went black.

“Does Kara know?” Alex asked turning to face J’onn.

J’onn shook his head. “I thought it best that she hears the news from you.” He spoke softly. Alex nodded her head in response and pulled out her phone.

Alex had barely pressed end on the phone call before Kara burst through the doors at the DEO, the rush of wind sending papers on a nearby desk into the air.

“Where is she!?” Kara stalked forwards to where Alex and J’onn were standing.

“Kara…” Alex held up her hands.

“No, Alex! We have to find her.”

“And we will, we just got contacted by her abductors.”

“Rao I’m so stupid, I should’ve known something was wrong when she didn’t come home. Sometimes she stays really late at the office, I should’ve checked. I should’ve made her come home. I should’ve.” Kara begins to pace running her fingers roughly through her hair. Alex could see Kara’s eyes starting to glisten.

“Kara this isn’t your fault.”

“But I could’ve prevented it Alex!” Kara snaps, instantly regretting the tone of her voice as she see’s Alex frown. “I’m sorry.” She breathed a moment later. Alex just reached out and squeezed her hand. She couldn’t even begin to understand what her sister was going through, all she knew was that she wouldn’t hesitate to move heaven and earth if it was Maggie that was missing.

“Winn is going over the video we were sent trying to get a location.” Alex explained and Kara nodded. Before Kara opened her mouth Alex added. “I’m not sure you should watch it.”

“Alex…please.”

Alex sighed slightly, there was no way she could say no with look she was getting, she still had her hand in Kara’s so she led her over to the monitors.

“Kara I’m-” Winn started.

“Play the video Winn.” Alex interrupted, time was of the essence they had no idea what those men wanted with Lena, the video basically only saying that they had her captive. With a nod Winn quickly turned back around to face the screen and pressed play.

Alex felt Kara’s hand twitch and tighten in her own as the image of a battered and bruised Lena Luthor appeared on the screen. Kara didn’t hear a word the men in the video said her eyes were locked on her girlfriend. All the scrapes and cuts, the way she winced every time she took a breath, the longer she watched the angrier she got. After a minute and a half, she had to turn away.

“Enough.” Kara rasped, letting go of Alex’s hand stalking out of the room. She wanted to cry, she wanted to hurl something through a window, but most of all she wanted Lena back in her arms. Biting her lip, she tried to keep the tears at bay, she needed to stay strong for Lena for everyone. A strong hand gripping her shoulder brought her out of her thoughts, she turned to see J’onn. Without hesitating she wrapped her arms around him and he pulled her closer in a strong embrace.

“We’re going to get her back.” He told Kara, letting her go after a moment. All Kara could manage was a nod of her head as she sniffed.

Alex suddenly appeared around the corner. “We got a location.” Kara felt a fire inside her ignite as she rushed back to the monitors with Alex and J’onn close behind her.

“She’s being held in this abandoned warehouse just out west of the city.” Winn informed her.

“Go.” Alex told Kara. “We’ll be right behind you.”

That was all Kara needed before she was out of there, flying as fast as she could to get to Lena.

 

* * *

 

It was 2:30am when Lena was finally walking out of her building. She often got chided from Kara that she worked too late and too hard, normally she just brushed it off putting it down as it was something she always did. But now actually having someone to go home to Lena often found herself setting a time that she had to be home by, this night unfortunately she went well over the time she wanted to be home. They hadn’t been living together for that long but it was clear that when they were apart both women had trouble sleeping and slept better with the others company. Kara suggested they move in together and Lena was more than happy to.

Lena had sent her driver home quite a while ago and was now fishing for her car keys in her handbag. She got in her car and placed her bag down on the floor of the passengers’ side. She thought about sending Kara a text to let her know she was on her way home, but she figured her girlfriend was already asleep and she didn’t want to wake her up.

“I see no one ever taught you to check the backseat.” A gravely voice sent a shock through Lena’s body. Before she had a chance to turn around a cloth of chloroform was held firmly over her nose and mouth until everything went fuzzy and she blacked out.

Lena blearily opened her eyes, as she was thrown to the ground. She groaned trying to sit up, only to be met with a swift kick to the ribs. Lena gasped for air as she was lifted up to her feet then forcefully flung back down to the ground, she hit her head hard enough that things started fading to black again.

The second time Lena opened her eyes it was against a harsh white light, the first thing she noticed was the cuffs around her wrists and ankles tying her down to the chair. She looked around the near empty warehouse until she saw over her shoulder two men dressed in scrubs standing at a make shift medical table. She tried to contain her emotions, the last thing she wanted was to show her abductors how utterly terrified she was.

“What do you want from me?” Lena managed to say, trying to sit up straighter in the chair.

“You’ll find out when we’re ready.” The taller man spoke his back to Lena, as the shorter turned around with a wicked grin.

Lena turned as much as she could to try and see the workbench where the men were stood, among other things such as needles and scalpels she noticed vials of a glowing green substance. It was an unmistakeable element.

“Why do you have Kryptonite?”

“The question you should be asking is not why do we have it but what are we going to be doing with it.” The shorter man who was grinning explained, as Lena watched the other fill up two syringes with the green liquid. Before Lena could ask what they were going to do with it, the taller man turned around and started to walk over. 

“We are going to be injecting the Kryptonite into your blood.” He spoke with a sickening smile.

“Supergirl is going to not want to go anywhere near you.” The other man laughed as he was handed one of the syringes.

“Have you boys forgotten who you abducted?” Lena spat with a cruel smirk. “I’m a Luthor. Supergirl already keeps her distance. I hardly see how any of this is necessary.” Lena rolled her eyes.

There was a moment of silence as the two men stared at each other.

“She doesn’t know!” The shorter man barked out a laugh, which was shortly followed by the other man laughing menacingly. 

“Oh this is going to be good.”

Lena struggled against the restraints as the men stalked closer. If she wasn’t as scared as she was she would have pushed what she didn’t know, but her mind was focused to the two large syringes of Kryptonite headed her way.

“This may hurt.” The shorter man spoke through a chuckle, as one hand gripped Lena’s upper arm the other holding the syringe.

“Get off me!” Lena grunted, struggled as best as should could against the man and the restraints in an attempt to get away.

Her attempts were futile as the man pushed the tip of the needle through her skin and began to push down. Lena screamed as she felt the Kryptonite enter her veins, it was the worst burning sensation she had ever felt. She wanted to tear at her skin, anything to get it out. The pain was so excruciating that she hardly notices the second man step forward and grab her other arm, it was only when the pain doubled and her scream cracked that she knew that they had administered the second dose. Amongst the thrashing and cries Lena looked down at her arms, the veins pulsing a soft green glow was the last thing she saw as her world returned to black.


	2. Chapter 2

Kara was at the location Winn gave her in no time. She broke through the roof of the warehouse and quickly took in her surroundings. She spotted Lena immediately, unconscious tied to the same chair she was in the video that was sent. Her eyes next snapped onto the two men in scrubs that stood at a bench not far from Lena, that appeared to be cleaning some utensils.

“Ah Supergirl. What a lovely surprise.” The taller man turned around.

“What have you done to her?” Kara all but growled, stalking closer to the men.

“Oh you’re going to know what we’ve done to her.” He laughed, sending shivers up Kara’s spine. The shorted man just stared at Kara with a manic smile.

Bodyguards of sorts dressed all in black emerged from the shadows and made a b-line for Kara with hostile intent. These people were strong and fast, landing punches that Kara would normally be able to easily dodge. She was starting to get angry, and the angrier she got the sloppier her hits became. Nonetheless she fought them back, slowly but surely getting the upper hand. It was at this point that she realised that the two men had started to run. There was no way she was going to let them get away.

“Alex!?” Kara grunted into her coms, narrowly avoiding a punch to gut.

“Get them, we’re here.” Alex came back almost instantly and Kara flew to the men knocking them both down to the ground.

Alex took Kara’s place and fought the bodyguards with J’onn as two more agents ran over to Kara handcuffs at the ready. Once Kara was sure the men were restrained properly by the DEO agents she bolted to Lena.

Apart from the physical injuries Kara could see which didn’t appear to be life threating she could tell something was very wrong. She made quick work of undoing the clasps at Lena’s wrists and legs, but when her hand brushed Lena’s upper arm she inhaled sharply at the burning sensation. The feeling of dread suddenly heavy in her stomach as a familiar ache hit her senses.

“What?... No... Impossible.” Kara froze momentarily looking at Lena’s body before moving to pick her up. But the instant her hands met Lena’s skin the burning ache hit her again, she could feel herself growing weaker as she pulled Lena up and cradled in her arms. This was not happening it couldn’t be happening, what had they done to her. Kara began to panic.

“No no no.” She murmured to herself shaking her head as she tried to step back from the chair but crumpled to the ground, she couldn’t hold Lena up, her powers were seeping away at an alarming rate. Kara pushed through the lightheaded feeling as she tried to get up with Lena, only to slump back on the ground.

“NO!” Kara’s screamed, her voice cracking as she finally allowed the tears that she had been holding in to fall.

Alex followed by two medic agents with a stretched rushed over.

“Kara what is it what’s wrong?” She put her hand on her sister’s shoulder.

The agents cautiously moved forward and picked Lena up from Kara’s grasp and lay her on the stretcher. As they wheeled her away Kara could feel her strength returning. And if she thought there was a fire in her when they found Lena’s location this new feeling set her whole body ablaze.

She pushed past Alex and was on the two men in seconds throwing punches and screaming. “How dare you!” The men chuckled and groaned through the punches, their sicking smiles haunting Kara as she screamed again. “I’ll kill you!” Her eyes began to glow red. If J’onn hadn’t shown up at her side a moment later, there was no doubt in Alex’s mind that Kara would’ve carried out her threat. J’onn pulled Kara back kicking and screaming. 

“Get them out of here.” Alex ordered.

“Let me go!” Kara thrashed in J’onn’s arms. “They have to pay for what they did.” She growled. They both knew that Kara could’ve easily broken out of his hold but as the men were taken out of sight her movements slowed she leaned back into J’onn “Let me…go.” She whispered a moment later. J’onn glanced up and with a nod from Alex loosened his grip on the younger sister, and to both of their surprise she fell to her knees.

“Kara.” Alex rushed forwards, kneeling down to her level. “Kara what did they do?” Alex asked softly. Kara silently shook her head; she didn’t want to verbalise her suspicions for the fear that they would be true. She didn’t know how to face them if they were true. “Tell me.” Alex pressed.

Kara’s gaze was locked on the ground as tears rolled of her cheeks. “Kryptonite.” She managed to murmur.

“What? Where?” Alex moved closer wrapping her arms around her sister.

“Lena.” Kara’s voice croaked as she finally looked up at Alex. “They put Kryptonite inside Lena.” She breathed shutting her eyes tight wishing it wasn’t true. “I couldn’t even carry her.” Alex pulled her closer, one hand stroking her hair. “I knew what it was the second I touched her.” Kara’s body shook as her voice broke. “Her skin Alex-” Kara hiccupped. “The second I touched her skin it burned.” Alex held Kara close as she cried, the raw heart breaking sobs bringing water to her own eyes.

“We need to get back to the DEO.” Alex spoke quietly as she squeezed Kara softly.

 

* * *

 

Kara stood arms crossed on the other side of the glass wall, watching as Alex and other scientist worked around Lena’s still unconscious form. This was killing her, it had been hours and there was no new information, all Alex was able to confirm was a concentrated form of Kryptonite was pumped into Lena’s bloodstream. J’onn had to calm her down a few times when the anger returned and he could sense her losing control.

Maggie had arrived at the DEO sometime later after not hearing from either Danvers sister that morning, it was now heading into late afternoon. J’onn had informed her what was going on and she made her way over to Kara, silently slipping her hand into the taller woman’s giving it a small squeeze. Kara looked at Maggie with a pained smile as she squeezed her hand back. Kara and Maggie had become a lot closer much to Alex’s delight, the older woman slipping seamlessly into the Danvers lives. Kara’s eyes suddenly caught Alex’s as she took off her gloves getting ready to come out of the room.

“Do you want the good news or the bad news?” Alex asked as Kara walked up to her, Maggie slowly following behind. 

“Alex…” Kara rolled her eyes with a sigh. 

“She’s going to make a full recovery; her white blood cells are already beginning to fight back against the Kryptonite and as far as we can tell it hasn’t had any damaging effect on her internal body processes.”

“Thank Rao.” Kara breathed. “So what’s the bad news?” She asked cautiously, confused as to what it would be. 

“We don’t know exactly how long it’s going to take for the Kryptonite to fully leave her system.” Alex said quietly.

Kara’s eyes widened.

“It could be a few weeks, months-” 

“Don’t say it.” Kara whispered, squeezing her eyes shut.

“… or years.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your comments! Reading them honestly made my day! Hope you enjoyed this chapter haha :)


	3. Chapter 3

_“It could be weeks, months-”_

_“Don’t say it.” Kara whispered, squeezing her eyes shut._

_“…years.”_

 

“Alex.” Kara’s heart drops, not knowing when she would be able to feel comfortable around Lena again broke her. She should’ve been there for Lena, should’ve checked on her before she went to bed. And now she couldn’t touch her girlfriend without physically aching, and not knowing how long it was going to last topped everything off. She all but collapsed into Alex’s arms again as she felt more tears rolling down her cheeks. Alex held her close, keeping her on her feet as Maggie stepped forwards putting a strong hand on Kara’s shaking shoulder. Over Kara’s sobs Alex just heard beeping coming from the room, turning slightly she could see the monitors and it looked like Lena was beginning to stir.

“She’s waking up.” Alex told her, Kara froze.

Kara couldn’t face Lena like this. If ever there was a time she regretted it most not telling Lena the truth about who she was, it was right now. She couldn’t be by her side as Kara Danvers, because Lena would be smart enough to know something was very wrong, and Kara couldn’t bare it if that was how she found out. There were so many times she should’ve told her. Kara looked over Alex’s should at Lena and began to panic.

“I have to go.” She bristled letting go of Alex, standing up and taking a few steps back.

“Kara.” Alex frowned reaching out, but it was too late Kara had flown away.

Maggie slowly took a few steps forward and wrapped her arms around Alex, Alex just sighed and returned the embrace.

“It’s gonna be alright.” Maggie hummed, pressing a kiss to Alex’s cheek. 

“I hope so, they need each other.” Alex sighed, closing her eyes letting her head fall to Maggie’s shoulder. “I’m sorry I didn’t text you after I left this morning.” Alex mumbled into Maggie’s neck, knowing that that was probably why the detective had appeared at the DEO. She was normally pretty good at keeping in contact when shit hit the fan at the DEO but this morning it unfortunately slipped her mind. 

“It’s okay, I was just worried and I guess I was rightly so.” Maggie murmured back, with a sad smile.

All Alex could think of was how much neither woman deserved this. “They’ve both been through so much.” She whispered aloud after a moment.

“And they’re going to make it through this.” Maggie said softly, pulling Alex closer. “They’re both so strong.” She added, Alex nodding her head at Maggie’s words.

The beeping caught Alex’s attention again and she slowly let got of Maggie. “I’ve got to take care of Lena, but I’ll see you at home later?”

“Yeah of course.” Maggie spoke softly, nodding her head as she reached up to tuck a piece of hair behind Alex’s ear. “I’ll check up on Kara, if she’ll let me.” She added a moment later.

“I love you.” Alex sighed, ducking her head slightly to meet Maggie’s lips with a soft kiss.

“I love you too.” Maggie smiled after the kiss, watching Alex go back into the medical room before turning and leaving the DEO. As she got in her car she started to run through the top places she’d be most likely to find Kara.

Alex made her way to Lena’s side as the woman began to murmur, eyes fluttering behind closed eyes.

“Lena it’s okay.” Alex put her hand gently over Lena’s, sitting down on the seat by her bedside. “You’re safe now.”

“K-Kara?” Lena’s voice croaked as she squinted her eyes open.

“No.” Alex breathed, eyes widening slightly at the colour of Lena’s iris’s, the bright green momentarily silencing her. “It’s Alex.” She managed to say after a moment.

“Where’s Kara?” Lena coughed slightly trying to sit up wondering where her girlfriend was, only to have Alex’s other hand on her shoulder.

“You need to lay down.” Alex spoke, still slightly mesmerised by the almost green glow Lena's eyes had.

Lena listened closing her eyes briefly as she lay back down, opening them again she looked up at Alex before her eyes flickered around the room.

“Where am I?” She asked, her eyes landing back on the older Danvers sister.

“You’re at the DEO.” Alex explained. “You were administered a large amount of-”

“Kryptonite.” Lena finished, remembering the encounter. She knew that Supergirl worked here but also knew the hero wouldn’t be coming anywhere near Lena in this state.

“Yes.” Alex nodded. “It’s still in your system but your body is fighting back, you are going to make a full recovery…”

Lena nodded at the new information, glad that her outlook was good but she couldn’t help the feeling that Alex was keeping something from her. She went with one of the obvious things that Alex had left out.

“How long is the recovery period?”

Alex bite her lip slightly before replying. “We don’t know.”

Lena ran her free hand through her hair with a sigh. “Do you know who did this to me?” Lena asked after a moment, biting her lip slightly.

“We have the men in cells who administered the Kryptonite. They belong to CADMUS.” Alex said quietly.

She honestly wasn’t that surprised that her Mother was behind this. After escaping prison around a year ago Lillian Luthor had been keeping a very close eye on her, Lena was surprised however it had taken this long for her to actually do something.

‘Does Kara know what happened? I’d really like to see her and go home now Alex.” Lena spoke after a moment, looking around the room again.

“Kara knows.” Alex spoke without thinking.

“Then where is she?” Lena wondered aloud, remembering one time recently when she had a particularly bad case of the flu and Kara was ready to rush her to the emergency room. She had a hard time imagining why she didn’t wake up with the girl by her side.

Alex opened her mouth and closed it, she was not prepared for this. She knew Kara hadn’t told Lena she was Supergirl, part of her was honestly surprised that Lena hadn’t figured it out by herself, but either way it wasn’t her secret to tell. She wasn’t even sure if Maggie had found Kara yet, let alone if she was ready to see Lena. She was completely lost and had no idea what to tell Lena.

Alex’s silence was enough for the gears in Lena’s head to start moving. All the conclusions she had jumped to before she had started dating Kara suddenly began to resurface, and Lena was hit with a realisation. All of the accusations she kept to herself were beginning to make sense, the way Kara spoke like there was always another side to her story, the mornings where she would wake up alone, countless notes left behind with excuses that Alex needed her, rushing out of dinners, meetings, interviews. Her mind suddenly replayed what her abductors had said before injecting her with Kryptonite and she couldn’t help but gasp. _“She doesn’t know.”_ Lena felt sick, angry and sad, her emotions were all over the place and she ended up reverting to what her mother had always taught her. Luthors don’t show emotion.  

“It’s her isn’t it.” Lena deadpanned, instantly taking her hand back from Alex like she had been burned all over again.

Alex pointedly avoided her gaze not saying anything.

“Kara is Supergirl isn’t she.” Her voice raw with emotion.

Silence.

“Answer me Alex!” Lena raised her voice as her eyes started to water.

“Yes.”

Lena breathed out shakily as tears started to fall, her hand coming up to cover her mouth trying to hold in the sobs that began to engulf her. She had read some of Lex’s files; she knew the effect Kryptonite had on Kryptonians. She couldn’t believe this. She didn’t know if she was hurt Kara kept this from her, angry at herself that she hadn’t figured it out sooner or utterly broken because the only thing she truly wanted was to be in the arms of the one person who could no longer hold her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry I didn't upload sooner! Thanks again for all the comments :) if you wanna come chat about how super gay episode 12 was don't be afraid to drop my inbox on tumblr super--luthor


	4. Chapter 4

Maggie left the DEO with one thing on her mind, find Kara and make sure she’s okay. She thought logically and drove to Kara’s apartment first. Knocking on the door a few times before finding it was unlocked she slowly walked in. “Kara?” She called out into the darkness. Finding the light switch on the wall she called Kara’s name again and after a brief look around she determined the place was empty.

The next stop was Lena’s, she talked to the doorman first and he said he hadn’t let anyone up. Maggie debated whether to go up and knock because she knew Lena had a balcony and Kara could’ve easily slipped up there unnoticed. She decided against it, thinking about how panicked Kara had been when Lena was waking up that the first place she fled to probably wasn’t going to be the other woman’s apartment.

The final stop on Maggie’s list was her and Alex’s apartment, it wasn’t unusual for Kara to turn up there sometimes. Maggie would be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy the younger Danvers company. Growing up with her parents and then with her Aunt, Maggie had always wanted a younger sister and very soon into dating Alex she found herself with the kid sister she’d always dreamed of having. After the slightly rocky start with Kara being protective of Alex they had become fast friends. On more than one occasion Alex had gotten home to find her two girls leaning on each other fast asleep with a blanket on the couch, a movie long forgotten still playing on the television.

Unlocking the door Maggie stepped into her and Alex’s apartment. Turning some lights on she had a brisk look around before stopping at the kitchen counter, the place was empty. Where was she? Maggie squeezed her eyes shut trying to get the image of how broken Kara had been out of her mind. She needed to find her, fast. An idea hit her as she remembered something Alex had once said. She got out her phone and checked the time and after deciding it wasn’t too late she called Winn.

“Detective Sawyer?” Winn answered the phone, clearly confused as to why Maggie was calling him.

“Hey. So I know you’ve bugged Kara’s Supersuit and I need you to tell me her exact location.” Maggie cut straight to the point, no bothering to tell Winn he really can just call her Maggie.

“What? No. I would never-” 

“Winn, please.” She interrupted.

“Fine, give me a second.” Winn sighed and Maggie could hear him typing away. “I’m sending the co-ordinates to the GPS on your phone, but by the looks of it she’s just out of National City close to the DEOs outdoor training facility in the desert. What’s she doing out there?”

“Thanks Winn, I need you to update me if she moves far from there.” Maggie said grabbing her keys off the kitchen counter. 

“No problem, uh let me know when you find her.”

“Will do.” She looked down at her phone as it buzzed with the co-ordinates. “Bye.” Maggie raced down to her car and set her GPS up. The time till destination reading 30 minutes she got there in 15. She knew quite a few shortcuts through the city and wasn’t all that worried about breaking a few traffic laws.

Dust. There was dust everywhere, the cars headlights barely cutting through the dark haze. Maggie got out of her car squinting her eyes trying to see through the dust. She had heard of dust and sand storms in deserts but nothing like this, this was crazy there was almost no wind, nothing weather related could’ve caused this.

“Little Danvers?” She called out into the darkness, looking down at her phone double checking the co-ordinates on her phone.

All of a sudden a loud crack echoed around her followed by a large smash as a relatively large boulder fell down landing on her car. Maggie jumped just managing to hold in a scream as she got a fright, that was no where near what she had been expecting. She turned to see the bolder resting on her now crushed car, the left headlight flickered a few times before staying off.

“Kara?!” Maggie shouted, trying to look around as the right headlight of her car flickered slightly.

“Maggie?” A voice cracked from to her left. 

Kara appeared out of the darkness.

“Kara, thank god.” Maggie sighed walking over to her.

Kara’s shoulders sagged, her eyes had a faded glow, fists still balled at her sides. She looked like a wreck. Maggie knew all to well Kara was beating herself up over what happened to Lena. And if the bolder was anything to go by she would say Kara had been boxing with rocks. Kara’s facial features suddenly turned from that of confusion to terror as she saw what was behind Maggie.

“Maggie your car!” She raised one hand to cover her mouth and put the other up in front of her to stop Maggie coming any closer. “Rao! You could’ve been in that! I could’ve killed you!” Kara shook her head more tears threatening to fall. “Alex would kill me! I would kill me! I don’t ever want to hurt you or her! I don’t know what I’d do without you two. I don’t. I couldn’t-”

“Hey, Kara breathe.” Maggie said softly, reaching out to gently take Kara hands in her own.

Kara bit her lip looking down at her hands in Maggie’s and after a moment shakily took a deep breath. She looked back up at Maggie and the tears silently fell.

“C’mere.” Maggie gently tugged at Kara’s hands pulling her closer so she could wrap her arms around the younger Danvers sister.

Kara sighed into the embrace, hiccupping slightly as she tried to stop herself from crying, part of was surprised she still had tears left to cry. Moments later her body betrayed her as she felt her knees shaking. Maggie held her up for as long as she could until utter exhaustion came over Kara, leading Maggie to gently guided them to the ground. Kara’s head rested in the crook of Maggie’s neck as she chocked back sobs.

“You’re okay.” Maggie hummed, fingers brushing through Kara’s hair.

“You don’t understand. It’s not okay.” Kara managed to whimpered. “Imagine if you couldn’t touch Alex without being burnt, without feeling sick to your stomach as a part of you is taken away.” Kara’s voice broke as she finally let a sob engulf her.

Maggie just pulled Kara closer, she was right there was no way she could understand fully or properly process what this whole situation meant to Kara. How it affected her mentally and physically. She held Kara close until the sobs slowly quietened down into short breaths. 

 “I just want to hold her Maggie.” Kara barely whispered, squeezing her eyes tightly shut.

Maggie’s heart broke at that, with the hand that wasn’t tangled in Kara’s hair she grabbed her phone and sent Alex a text. She sent her the co-ordinates asking her to come get them, there was no way she was going to ask Kara to fly them back home in this state.

 

* * *

 

“Lena if there’s anything I-” 

“Please. Take me home Agent Danvers.” Lena whispered, pushing down the urge to be sick, just managing to compose herself. She could feel tears slowly running down her cheeks but wasn’t going to completely break, at least not here. She hastily wiped the tears away, willing them to stop. 

“Of course.” Alex nodded standing up, taking a step back. She moved around the room, in the process collecting Lena’s things for her and a list of symptoms that if appeared she was to return to the DEO immediately. Handing her belongings over Alex told Lena that it would be best if she came back for a check up tomorrow, just in case her condition changed overnight.

The drive was silent. Alex pulled up at Kara’s apartment and all Lena could do was shake her head, looking up at the apartment through the window. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t go up there and wait, sit around like Kara was magically going to appear and everything was going to be alright, like everything was going to go back to normal. It made her feel sick, not wanting to be anywhere near the one place that truly felt like home was absurd, but no matter what way she looked at it she kept coming to the conclusion that she really didn’t want to be there.

“My apartment.”

“Lena…” Alex said quietly, looking over at her. She looked so small, so fragile, nothing like the powerful business woman Alex was so used to seeing. She knew Lena and her sister had been living together for a while so was slightly surprised by the quiet request.

“I can’t Alex.” Lena whispered, not trusting her voice to say anything more.

Alex just slowly nodded knowing not to question further she made a U-turn and driving towards Lena’s apartment. The second the car stopped outside the building Lena opened the door, practically bolting. Alex opened her door and stood leaning on the car as she watched Lena rush off.

“Text me if you need anything Lena!” She called out, knowing the last thing the younger woman wanted was her chasing after her.

Lena halted slightly at Alex’s words, she turned around and nodded her head a few times before briskly making her way inside the building. Alex waited until Lena was safely inside before getting back in her car. She sat in silence, thinking about everything and nothing. It was her phone alerting her she had a text a few minutes later that brought her out of her thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always your comments mean the world to me! Sorry again this wasn't here sooner, I'm setting myself a schedule so hopefully you'll be getting chapters more regularly :)


	5. Chapter 5

“Late night Miss Luthor?” The doorman’s voice broke Lena’s stride and she turn to face him.

“Yeah.” She nodded her head. “Company won’t run itself.” She joked weakly, momentarily trying to ignore the breaking feeling inside.

“Well, goodnight Miss Luthor.” The doorman chuckled softly. 

“Goodnight.” Lena nodded her head after a moment before she carried on towards the elevator. The ride to her apartment was far too long. Closing her eyes she found herself focusing on her breathing until the elevator doors dinged open. Digging through her hand bag she found her keys, cursing to herself at the way her hand shook as she unlocked door. Closing the door with her back against it she squeezed her eyes shut.

It had easily been a month since she had properly been back to her apartment. There were a few times where she had dropped by to collect a piece of clothing or an old document, but other than that Lena had kept her distance from the penthouse suite. Lena let out a shaky breath as her knees gave way and she slid down the door until she was sitting on the ground with her knees to her chest. Opening her eyes she looked out at the dark apartment, she couldn’t help but think she knew this was how it was going to end. Nothing good ever happened to a Luthor, she’d been a fool to think any different. No matter how bright Kara made her life, Lena’s dark past always had a way of creeping back up on her. And now it smothered her. Lena shook her head, just containing the tears as she slowly rose from the floor.

Dumping her bag on the counter and turning a few lights on she headed to the bathroom, the thought of a shower bringing a slight air of calm to her mind. Blinking back the bright lights of the bathroom Lena gazed up at herself in the mirror and screamed. Her hand quickly coming up to cover her mouth as she saw the colour of her eyes. This was insane, her eyes all but glowed the same green as Kryptonite. They were hypnotising and Lena wanted to be sick, she couldn’t even look at herself without being reminded of the horrible situation she was in. Lena blinked slowly and tears she had been trying to hold in fell. 

Taking a deep breath she turned away from the mirror, turned the shower on and began to undress. Once the shower had warmed up Lena slowly stepped in. The hot water running down her body comforting her somewhat, before she was hit with a thought; the last time she had been in this shower so had Kara. A sob escaped her lips as she squeezed her eyes shut and wrapped her arms tightly around her waist, the thought was too much for her. Leaning her head forwards against the wall Lena stood motionless under the water apart from the occasional movement of her shoulders as she cried. Lena wouldn’t have known how long she stayed in that shower if you had asked, only motivated to get out sometime later by the need for a drink.

Dressed in a black satin singlet and shorts Lena made her way to her infamous liquor cabinet. She needed to stop feeling and this was her only solution. Her eyes roamed over the variety of bottles, biting her lip slightly until her eyes landed on a bottle of 25 Year Old Sherry Oak Scotch Whiskey. Perfect. Grabbing the bottle she walked over to the kitchen to get a glass. She slowly whirled the amber liquid around her first glass, the second went down faster and after her third half glass she gave up using it, opting to drink straight from the bottle. She took some pleasure in how disgusted Lillian would be if she saw her right now drinking from the bottle. The alcohol burned softly but it was a welcomed sensation, Lena could feel she was getting drunk and fast, the thought brought a smile to her lips as she sat sideways on her leather couch legs dangling over the armrest. Looking at the bottle in her hand she tried to think back to last time she had gotten herself into this kind of state so quickly. She managed to pinpoint it, it had been after another one of Lex’s countless attempts on her life. She had gotten hopelessly drunk in her office at L-Corp before Supergirl had came to checked up on her.

Supergirl…

Kara…

Lena frowned, a horrible feeling suddenly weighing down on her. What if that’s all it was. A Super keeping tabs on a Luthor. Were Kara’s feelings towards her real or were they all part of some sadistic plan to keep an eye on her? Lena was powerless to stop the fresh round of tears that all but poured down her cheeks. It had to be real right? She thought Kara loved her, admittedly neither party had actually spoken those three words to each other yet but longing gazes, soft smiles and tender touches often got that message across. She thought back to the first time she met Kara and it was another blow to the chest, Kara had walked into her office behind the one and only Clark Kent. Lena wasn’t stupid she knew the mans other identity, she was in all honesty waiting for the time to come when he would be checking in on her. But Kara? Was anything real? Lena’s already intoxicated mind and broken heart decided that whatever the answer may be it was most definitely at the bottom of the bottle. So she kept drinking. 

Her mind became a blur, thoughts and feelings overlapping the closer she got to the bottom. She stared blankly out the clear doors to her balcony for god knows how long, the skyline had began changing colour, lighter blues and soft oranges indicating the start of a new day. Lena found herself swaying as she stood up from the couch, her feet taking her where she needed to be before her mind and body caught up. Finding herself in the bathroom Lena suddenly felt her stomach churn. She threw up, emptying her stomach, knuckles white as she clung to the toilet bowl. It was only after she started dry reaching that Lena managed to comprehend that she hadn’t eaten properly in well over 24 hours. Standing on wobbly legs she flushed the toilet. Lena rinsed her mouth and splashed water on her face, looking up in the mirror at herself she couldn’t help the anger that began to erupt inside her. Anger at Lillian, anger at herself, anger at the piercing green eyes staring back at her. Lena screamed and her fist flew, before she knew it the mirror had cracked. If anything the pain was dull, she looked down at her knuckles as they bled and shook her head with a low chuckle. She slowly moved each finger, nothing felt broken but she knew she’d probably consumed enough alcohol to mask any proper pain.

One word. Four letters. Lena stared down at her phone focusing hard as she sat on the floor in the lounge, leaning back against the couch with her knees to her chest. It had taken her an embarrassingly long amount of time to get through seeing double to be able to write the one word she now couldn’t take her eyes off. It was a word unheard of in the Luthor household, a word she was told that if ever used she should be ashamed, it was something a Luthor should never have to ask for. Taking a sip from the nearing empty bottle of scotch Lena pressed send.

  

* * *

 

Alex woke up just after 7am when her phone buzzed on her bedside table. Reaching over with her free arm she frowned, confused as she read the text from Lena.

 

_Help._


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so I'm really sorry it has taken me so long to update, here's a long chapter that will hopefully make up for it a little haha, thank you for your comments on the last chapter I always love knowing what you think! :)

_“Text me if you need anything Lena!” She called out, knowing the last thing the younger woman wanted was her chasing after her._

_Lena halted slightly at Alex’s words, she turned around and nodded her head a few times before briskly making her way inside the building. Alex waited until Lena was safely inside before getting back in her car. She sat in silence, thinking about everything and nothing. It was her phone alerting her she had a text a few minutes later that brought her out of her thoughts_.

 

* * *

 

 The text was from Maggie, a set of co-ordinates followed by a simple ‘please come get us’. Alex hooked her phone up to the GPS in her car and with one more look towards Lena’s building she sped off. Her relationship with Lena had been rocky at the start to say the least. She couldn’t help the doubts she had about the younger Luthor, but slowly and surely both Kara and Lena pushed those doubts far from Alex’s mind. Nowadays Lena was basically another sister to her, ganging up on Kara at games night with embarrassing stories, the occasional coffee and talking science to an extent where Kara would whine demanding her girlfriend back, Alex genuinely enjoyed Lena’s company. The GPS beeping signalling she had arrived at her destination brought her out of her thoughts.

“What the-” Alex pulled up behind Maggie’s damaged car. The large boulder had totally crushed the drivers side of the car. “Maggie?!” Alex practically leapt out of the car thinking the worst, completely forgetting that Maggie had actually texted her so she was in fact not sitting dead inside the car.

“Over here Alex.” Maggie called out, one hand still moving though Kara’s hair her arms full of the superhero.

Alex whirled around at the sound of her girlfriend’s voice, and what she saw almost brought a tear to her eye. Kara was curled into Maggie as both women sat on the ground, Maggie holding onto Kara like she was afraid to let go. There were only a few people Kara was that comfortable with and Alex was fortunate enough that one of those people was Maggie. It always warmed her heart to see the two getting along.

She rushed over to the pair, kneeling down she put a hand on each of their backs. “Alex?” Kara murmured lifting her head slightly from where rested in the crook of Maggie’s neck.

“Yeah, I’m here.” Alex said softly, tucking a piece of hair behind Kara’s ear so she could see her sisters face. Pain was clear on Kara’s features and it made Alex’s heart ache.

Kara bit her lip trying to hide a whimper as she turned her body to slowly move from Maggie’s arms to wrap her arms around Alex’s neck.

“Oh Kara.” Alex hummed pulling her sister closer as she felt Kara’s body began to shake. Kara choked back sobs as she buried her face by the side of Alex’s neck. “Breathe.” Alex whispered, rubbing one of her hands up and down Kara’s back.

“I-I can’t. Alex” Kara gasped, letting the sobs go not trying to hold them back anymore. “I can’t.” Alex could feel the tears on her neck and hugged Kara as tight as she could knowing that she wouldn’t hurt her, knowing that Kara loved it when she hugged her tight.

“Shh, just breathe. I know you can.” Alex murmured, unable to stop letting a few of her own tears go as it tore her apart seeing her sister like this, but she knew she had to stay as strong as she could for the both of them. She hadn’t seen Kara in a state like this since they were both younger, and it was just as awful then as it was now. She had already been through so much, it wasn’t fair, the universe was so cruel.

Maggie scooted closer rubbing small circles on Alex’s back when she noticed her girlfriend’s tears. She had only just begun to understand the depth of the bond that Alex and Kara shared, but she knew more than anything else how much the sisters needed each other, especially in moments like this.

It took several minutes but Kara slowly began to breathe deeper, hiccupping slightly every now and then.

“I’ve got you.” Alex reassured her as Kara quietly breathed, her body still shaking every now and then. “I’ve got you.” She repeated under her breath.

After a few minutes of soft silence Maggie got up carefully and after stretching slightly she held one of her hands out to Alex. “Keys?” She asked gently.

“They’re still in the car.” Alex replied, reaching up to put her hand in Maggie’s, beyond thankful that Maggie had found Kara and stayed with her. “We’ll be there in a sec.” She added squeezing her hand. Maggie nodded her head with a small smile, squeezing Alex’s hand back before walking to the car and getting in the driver’s seat.

“Do you think you can stand for me?” Alex asked softly, rubbing a hand up and down Kara’s back.

Kara sighed but nodded her head.

Alex moved back slightly but the second her hold on Kara loosened, Kara jolted forward instantly, an involuntary whimper leaving her lips not wanting Alex to let go.

“Hey, I’m not going anywhere.” Alex hummed, pressing a kiss to Kara’s hair. “We’re going home.” She added, this time keeping her arms around Kara gently encouraging her to stand.

“Sorry.” Kara spoke quietly after standing up in Alex’s arms and loosening her hold on her sister slightly.

“You have no reason to be.” Alex tucked a piece of hair behind Kara’s ear, hugging her close one more time before letting go to take her hand. “C’mon let’s go.” She wouldn’t admit to Kara that it was beyond freezing out here, and that Maggie would’ve been holding on to her for warmth just as much as to comfort her.

The two sisters got into the back of the car as Maggie started it. The drive back to Alex and Maggie’s apartment was mostly silent, the occasional sniff came from Kara as she rested her head on Alex’s shoulder. Alex looked down at her sister and saw a tear rolling down her cheek, she reached over with her free hand and gently brushed the tear away with her thumb. Kara closed her eyes at the touch, keeping them closed she sighed as Alex squeezed her hand.

“Nearly there.” Maggie spoke quietly from the front, watching the exchange between the sisters.

Walking through the door first Maggie turned on some lights and after dropping Alex’s keys on the kitchen bench went over to close the curtains. Alex followed behind with Kara in tow. In the light Alex was able to get a better look at Kara and couldn’t help but frown slightly. Kara was a mess, dust, dirt, sand and who knows what was matted in places through her hair and clung to the skin her suit left exposed.

“How about you go have a shower, and I’ll order some food for us?” Alex turned standing in front of Kara, hands rubbing up and down her sister arms.

“I’m not hungry.” Kara spoke looking at the ground.

Maggie stopped what she was doing unable to hold back a soft scoff. “What?” She turned around.

Alex looked over to Maggie who had voiced her exact thoughts before looking back at Kara. Kara who had a black hole for a stomach, Kara who was never not hungry, Kara that when she refused food Alex knew something was seriously wrong.

“Go hop in the shower.” Alex spoke gently as she moved, turning Kara towards the bathroom. “We’ll talk about food when you get out.”

Kara didn’t have the energy to protest again, deciding that a shower was probably the best idea and that she’d tell Alex again later that she really didn’t feel like eating.

Once she heard the bathroom door shut and the shower start Alex walked over and all but collapsed on her back onto the couch, hands coming up to cover her face with a sigh.

“Hey.” Maggie moved over to the couch and gently crawled on top of Alex. She wrapped her arms around Alex’s wait and rested her head on her chest. Maggie felt arms come around her shoulders, one hand nestled in her hair the other flat against her back. “What’s with Little Danvers saying she’s not hungry? I don’t think I’ve ever heard her say that.” Maggie questioned quietly.

“I can probably count the number of times she’s said those words on one hand.” Alex murmured. “And that’s including the times she’s jokingly said it.” She said clearer, before whispering. “She’s really not ok.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

“I don’t know, but you’ve already done so much Maggie.” Alex moved to sit up slightly so she could look down at her girlfriend properly. “Thank you, for finding her and staying with her.” Alex barely got out before tears started to well up in her eyes. “And holding her, and I just- thank you.” Her voice cracked.

Maggie moved back, with legs positioned on either side of Alex she sat in her lap and looked down at Alex just in time to see the first tear fall. “Oh Alex.” Maggie moved forwards to wrap her arms around her girlfriend. “There’s no need to thank me.” Maggie chuckled softly with a sad smile. “I knew from the get go you two were a package deal. And whilst I love you so much, I care about Kara as well so I’m gonna take care of her whenever I can.” Maggie explained quietly, causing Alex to pull her closer leaning back so they were both lying down again.

“I love you so much, I hope you know that.” Alex whispered.

“Of course I know.” Maggie murmured. “And you know you and Kara you’re like buy one get one free.” Maggie chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

“You didn’t buy me.” Alex mumbled back with a grin, emphasising the word buy.

“You know what I mean.” Maggie smiled, pressing a kiss to Alex’s cheek.

“Not getting soft on me are you Sawyer?” Alex smirked.

“In your dreams Danvers.” Maggie hummed, nuzzling closer to Alex completely aware that her actions betrayed her words. She loved to joke with Alex but still wanted her to know that she meant the world to her, and if anyone could bring out the softness in her it was the Danvers sisters. They lay together on the couch for quite a while that Alex was almost sure Maggie had fallen asleep on top of her until she spoke.

“We should order some food; I don’t know about Little Danvers but I’m starving.” Maggie mumbled.

Alex laughed lightly and nodded her head. “You order the food and I’ll go check on Kara.”

Maggie got up and went to the kitchen where the phone was as Alex got up and walked over to the bathroom.

 

* * *

 

Kara felt numb. Everything and nothing hurt at the same time. She had already scrubbed the dirt from her body leaving her skin feeling raw but with no actual change occurring. She couldn’t believe this was happening. She should’ve been there for Lena, should’ve woken up when she wasn’t back at her normal time, should’ve made sure she was safe. Kara was powerless to stop the tears that ran down her cheeks. With the weight of the world already on her shoulders, the weight of not being there for Lena finally crushed her, her legs betrayed her for a second time that night as she found herself with her back against the shower wall sliding down to the ground. Knees to her chest and head resting on her knees Kara sat in silence.

“Kara?” Alex knocked on the door, the shower was still running so Alex listened hard for a reply. “Kara?” Alex asked again, knowing that her sister had no trouble hearing her. “Are you okay?” When she still got no reply Alex was starting to get worried. She opened the bathroom door. “Jesus Kara.” Alex mumbled, the lights weren’t even on Kara had been showering in the dark. Turning the lights on she turned the fan on as well, she knew Kara liked to have hot showers but this steam was ridiculous.

“Turn the shower off.” Alex told her as she moved to get a towel. “Kara.” Alex said softly as she turned around and through the steam just managed to make out her sister was sitting on the floor in the shower with her back against the wall. “Come on.” She spoke again softly, holding the towel out to Kara facing the other way to give her some privacy. She felt Kara take the towel and gave her a moment before turning back around and taking her hand she led her in to the bedroom where she got some clothes for her to wear.

Alex passed Kara one of her old DEO shirts, her collage hoodie and a pair of batman boxers. “Maggie got them for me as a joke.” Alex explained leaning on the door frame as she noticed her sister roll her eyes at the bottoms. “Don’t worry I haven’t worn them.” Alex added before leaving the room and closing the door behind her.

“Foods around 15 minutes away.” Maggie turned around from the seat at the kitchen counter when she heard the bedroom door close. Alex silently nodded and made her way over to Maggie, who opened her arms. Alex sighed as she stood in between Maggie’s legs, with the shorter woman wrapping her arms around her waist she wrapped her arms around Maggie’s shoulders. “How’s Little Danvers?” Maggie asked, holding Alex closer.

“She was showering in the dark.” Alex groaned, closing her eyes.

“Oh.” Maggie pulled back slightly to look up at Alex. “Well maybe the 3 servings of potstickers will help.”

“Hopefully.” Alex hummed, looking down at Maggie, before groaning again.

“What?”

“I just remembered that Lena found out.” Alex sighed, leaning forwards to rest her forehead against the top of Maggie’s.

“Found out what?”

“Found out about Kara and I don’t know what to do.” Alex stepped back from Maggie slightly. “Do I tell Kara? Do I let her find out on her-”

“Tell me what?” Kara interrupted as she walked out of their room, hand in her pockets and hood over her head.

Alex turned around to face Kara and Maggie let her go.

“I, uh-” Alex started.

“I think you should tell her.” Maggie spoke softly.

Kara walked over and leaned up against the back of the couch. “Again, tell me what?” She asked pushing her hood down.

Alex took a deep breath. “Lena knows you’re Supergirl.”

“Lena knows I’m Super- what? Lena knows?!” Kara all but jumped forwards towards Alex eyes wide. “What? How? Did you tell her?” Kara raised her voice.

“No I didn’t tell her Kara.” Alex replied in a calm tone raising her hands. “She figured it out herself when she woke up.”

“What do you mean she figured it out!?” Kara yelled.

“She figured it out because you weren’t there when she woke up! Her girlfriend wasn’t by her side you took off the second she started to stir.”

“What was I meant to do? You could’ve said I was on my way, stuck in traffic or Snapper kept me late. This isn’t how she should’ve found out!”

“On your way? You were out of there faster than I could blink Kara! I didn’t know when or if you were going to return, so stop trying to shuffle the blame of _your_ girlfriend finding out _your_ secret on me!” Alex raised her voice back unable to hold back her frustration.

Kara opened her mouth to reply but a knock on the door stopped her. Maggie got up silently and went to the door, the food was here. She paid for it and brought it all in, placing it on the table she moved to the kitchen to get plates and cutlery.

“I’m sorry.” Kara whispered, running a hand through her hair. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to shout and I’m sorry I’m not trying to blame you, I just- I” Kara just managed, tears welling up in her eyes.

“It’s ok Kar.” Alex stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her sister. Kara took a deep breath wrapping her arms back around Alex. Maggie regarded the two sisters for a moment before speaking softly.

“Dinners up.”

 

* * *

 

“Are you sure you’ll be alright on the couch?” Alex asked as she passed Kara another blanket.

“Yeah I’ll be fine.” Kara nodded her head with a small smile.

“Alright goodnight, I’ll see you in the morning.” Alex put a hand on Kara’s arm.

“Night Alex.” Kara moved to lie down on the couch pulling a blanket over herself.

“Love you.” Alex said before turning off the light in the living room.

“Love you too.” Kara hummed.

Alex closed the door to her and Maggie’s room, turning she smiled softly at what she saw. Maggie was sitting up in bed with her old copy of The Great Gatsby reading glasses perched on her nose. Alex remembered when she first pulled her glasses out and how self conscious Maggie had been, Alex found it absolutely endearing and had reassured her she loved them. Alex got changed into her sleep wear and joined Maggie in bed.

“How many times have you read that book?” Alex asked shuffling closer to put an arm around Maggie’s waist.

“Not as many times as you.” Maggie grinned, putting the book down to look at Alex.

“Whatever.” Alex chuckled, as Maggie took her glasses off and placed them and the book on her bedside table. Maggie turned the bedside lamp off and lifted up her arm so Alex could snuggle closer and that’s what she did, resting her head on Maggie’s chest.

“I love you.” Alex whispered.

“I love you too.” Maggie leaned down slightly to press a kiss to the top of Alex’s head.

 

* * *

 

Maggie was nearly asleep when she heard it. Soft cries that came from the living room that could only belong to Kara. Maggie frowned and looked down at Alex. “Babe can you hear that?” She whispered, threading her fingers through Alex’s hair.

“Yes.” Alex murmured.

“Can I go get her?” Maggie asked softly after a moment. Alex nodded her head and shuffled back over to her side of the bed so there’d be room for Kara.

The second Maggie opened the bedroom door Kara’s cries stopped. She walked over to Kara and silently held out her hand. She knew the youngest Danvers wasn’t asleep, she was as bad at pretending to be asleep as her older sister was. After a moment Kara opened her eyes and saw Maggie’s hand.

“Maggie I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake-” Kara croaked in between sniffling.

“Shh, it’s ok we weren’t asleep.” Maggie interrupted softly, searching for Kara’s hand to take.

Kara put her hand in Maggie’s and Maggie tugged on it lightly. “C’mon.” Maggie hummed.

Kara got up knowing resisting would be pointless, she followed behind Maggie into their room. When Alex saw her younger sister behind Maggie she opened up her arms and Kara was in them in a second. Alex pulled her close whispering soft words trying to comfort her. Maggie pulled the covers up over Kara and when she was about to leave and take the couch for the night Kara’s hand was around her wrist.

“Please stay.” Kara mumbled, turning to face Maggie.

“Of course.” Maggie nodded and got in to the bed behind Kara.

Kara turned back and faced Alex, as Alex reached out for Maggie’s hand. The two held hands and with Kara nestled between them and it wasn’t long until they were all close to sleep. Kara was nearly asleep when a thought hit her and she couldn’t help the small whimper she let out.

“What is it?” Alex blinked her eyes open at the sound.

“I have you guys but Lena- Lena’s got no one.” Kara’s voice broke.

“I’m sure she’ll be ok, try and get some sleep Kar.” Alex hummed dropping a kiss to the top of Kara’s head.

 

* * *

 

_Alex woke up just after 7am when her phone buzzed on her bedside table. Reaching over with her free arm she frowned, confused as she read the text. It was from Lena._

_Help._


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the next chapter, let me know what ya think :)

Alex knew this was odd, especially for Lena. It wasn’t like she and Lena hadn’t texted before, they often texted to organise double coffee dates, every now and then Alex even got a science related question, asking her to double check something Lena was working on or what her ideas were on certain chemical formulas. But this text was different. Alex detangled herself from Kara and careful not to wake the other women got out of bed. Kara started to move and Alex held her breath, she knew how much her younger sister needed sleep right now and was praying she didn’t wake up, she breathed out a sigh of relief when all Kara did was roll over and snuggled closer to Maggie. Alex got dressed quickly into her black jeans and a comfy t-shirt and was about to leave the room when Maggie’s voice caught her attention.

“Where are you going?” Maggie whispered, blinking her eyes as she moved some of Kara’s hair out of her face as the superhero mumbled in her sleep.

“I got a text from Lena, I’m heading over to her apartment. I’ll call you later.” Alex replied quietly, leaning in to give Maggie a quick peck.

“Mm’kay” Maggie hummed with a smile after the kiss, still half asleep.

Alex smiled softly looking at her two favourite girls as she closed the bedroom door as quietly as she could. She briskly made her way to the kitchen bench to grab her keys and her jacket before replying to the text and leaving for Lena’s apartment.

“Coming.”

 

* * *

 

Lena gazed down at her phone as it buzzed in her good hand. It took a long time for her eyes to focus as she was still very much intoxicated. Her phone lit up signalling she’d received a text. The screen went black before she could actually read it and after fumbling for a moment she was able to unlock it properly. Bringing the phone right up to her face Lena was finally able to read Alex’s reply. Lena got lost looking at the reply, it didn’t help that her mind was all over the place due to alcohol but Lena still sometimes found it hard to comprehend that she now had people in her life that would be there for her. Growing up having no one but a brother that eventually betrayed her made it difficult for Lena to understand what it felt like to have people she trusts completely to fall back on. The lone wolf she had been raised to be had slowly begun to fade away, only rearing it’s head every now and then when Lena would panic because she was struck by how much love and happiness was now in her life. Luckily she had her own personal sunshine that brought her back down to earth when the wolf appeared. But now Lena wasn’t sure about anything. Was she worthy of the sunshine, could she even call Kara hers? It was a knock and her front door opening that brought Lena slightly out of her thoughts.

After getting no reply Alex found the door unlocked and went inside Lena’s apartment. “Lena?” She called out, eyes scanning the apartment. She turned and flicked on some lights that were by the front door. With the lounge illuminated Alex was easily able to spot Lena sitting down on the ground, eyes instantly going to the younger woman’s bleeding hand. “Jesus Lena.” Alex said rushing over, crouching down to her level.

“Alex?” Lena murmured, trying to focus on the woman suddenly in front of her.

“What happened?” Alex slowly reached out for Lena’s hand.

“It was the mirror Alex! It jumped out at me!” Lena exclaimed with a chuckle, trying to wave her hand but Alex held it still.

It was that, accompanied with the smell of whisky on her breath that Alex was able to determine that Lena was drunk. She decided the best course of action would be to take Lena to the DEO where she could patch up her hand, because just looking at it now she could tell it would need stiches.

“Hold this in the air whilst I go find a towel or something.” She instructed lifting Lena’s hand up slightly, unsure if the wound was still bleeding or not though she thought she’d better take the precaution. Lena nodded her head slowly, leaving her hand up in the air as Alex got to her feet and went to the kitchen. She rummaged around for a minute before finding a tea towel and swiftly making her way back to Lena, nearly knocking over a bottle of scotch in the process.

“Lena how much whisky have you had to drink?” Alex asked, kneeling down to wrap the tea towel around her hand.

“What?”

“How full was this bottle when you started drinking?” Alex tried again, reaching to the side with her hand that wasn’t holding Lena’s to grab the bottle.

Lena squinted, willing her eyes to focus properly on the bottle Alex was holding up in front of her. “Full.” She managed after a moment, nodding her head confirming with herself.

“Full?”

She nodded again.

“Lena this is nearly empty.” If Lena was telling the truth then Alex was confident she would’ve consumed enough to have some form of alcohol poisoning. How she was actually functioning right now was beyond Alex. Lena tried to shrug, mumbling something that Alex couldn’t quite understand.

“Can you stand up for me?” Alex asked moving forward to put her arms under Lena’s.

“Yes I can.” Lena hummed confidently.

Alex helped Lena to her feet, only to have the other woman’s full weight against her the instant she was up.

“Okay maybe not, just take a seat.” Alex gently lowered Lena to the couch. “I’m going to grab you some warmer clothes.” She added noticing Lena’s rather thin evening attire. “Keep a hold of this.” She motioned to Lena’s hand.

“Wher- Where are we going?” Lena asked, watching as Alex walked away in the direction of her room.

“To the DEO.” Alex called out, as she made her way to Lena’s room.

Part of her felt bad that she was essentially snooping through her little sister’s girlfriend’s room but the rest of her could care less she was here to make sure Lena was comfortable later on. She couldn’t help looking in the bathroom to see the broken mirror and frowned, Lena had definitely swung at it. Opening a draw Alex found a pair of sweat pants that would do, and opening the closet to her left her eyes caught a familiar hoodie. She smiled softly as she grabbed Kara’s leavers hoodie before making her way back to Lena in the lounge.

“I’m just going to make a call then we’ll go okay?” Alex told Lena gently as she placed the clothes on the couch beside Lena.

“Ok.” Lena nodded slowly, looking at the clothes.

Alex got out her phone and walked over to the kitchen. She checked the time 7:30, J’onn would be at the DEO.

“Agent Danvers?” J’onn answered his phone.

“I was just calling to let you know I’m brining Lena in with a busted hand and potential alcohol poisoning. If any of the Medical team are in it would probably be best to do her bloods again to check the Kryptonite levels at some point today.” Alex explained as best as she could.

“What’s your ETA?”

“Around 15 minutes.”

“See you then Agent.”

Alex pocketed her phone and walked back over to Lena only to find her trying to pull on Kara’s hoodie with her good hand which was clearly not her dominant hand.

“Here I’ll help.” Alex murmured, pulling the hoodie over Lena’s head and kneeling down to her level helped to guide her injured hand through the sleeve.

“Thank you.” Lena whispered, watching how careful Alex was with her hand.

Alex looked up at Lena’s words and saw her eyes beginning to water. “Hey, it’s okay.” Alex smiled softly, taking Lena’s good hand and giving it a small squeeze.

Lena bit her lip and shook her head slightly trying to contain the tears but failed miserably for what felt like the hundredth time. The part of her that had been groomed meticulously by Lillian was utterly disgusted at how easily her emotions overcame her recently, but the other part was too mentally and physically exhausted to care.

“It’s gonna be alright, we’re gonna fix up your hand, it’ll be good as new in no time I swear.” Alex raised her hand to Lena’s cheek to gently wipe away a tear with her thumb.

“It’s not that.” Lena managed through a broken breath, hanging her head.

“Then what?” Alex asked softy.

“You care.” Lena whispered, looking up to meet Alex’s eyes.

In that moment Alex wasn’t looking into the eyes of a confident, multimillion dollar CEO, but that of a young woman who had been through so much pain and suffering. Alex didn’t know what to say, Lena’s words stunning her into silence. Acting on second instinct Alex moved forwards and wrapped her arms carefully around Lena, holding her close. She felt the younger woman’s body shudder with sobs, as one arm came around her and held on to her tightly.

“Of course I care Lena.” Alex found her voice after a few moments. “You are such an amazing talented woman.” She rubbed a hand up and down Lena’s back. “You’ve been through hell and back multiple times and still make my sister the happiest I’ve ever seen her, and I mean have you seen the way she looks at potstickers.”

“She makes me happy too.” Lena sighed with a choked laugh.

“That’s good. I’m glad because you, Lena Luthor, deserve to be happy.” Alex told her, moving back slightly to look at her, wiping away a stray tear. Lena smiled softly at Alex. “Now come on we gotta go cause I’m pretty sure there’s still glass in your hand.”

“What? how’d it get in there?” Lena sniffed, looking confused at her hand covered by the tea towel.

Alex chuckled with a smile, just managing to hold in her comeback but couldn’t help thinking fondly ‘you drunk fuck’. “Can you try standing up for me again?” She opted for instead.

Lena nodded her head and took Alex’s outstretched hands, and this time was able to stay standing. Alex grabbed the sweat pants and chucked them under one of her arms, the other going around Lena’s waist making sure she stayed on her feet as she began to lead them to her car. Once in her car Alex fished around for a moment before producing a drink bottle filled with water and passed it to Lena.

“Drink that.” She told her softly as she started the car and headed for the DEO. Lena just nodded her head, having a sip of water every now and then.

 

* * *

 

After arriving at the DEO Alex was able to get Lena to the medical bay with little protest, she put it down to having J’onn nearby, Lena even when intoxicated able to recognise the authority he held.

“Take a seat here and I’ll be back in a moment with stuff for your hand.” Alex pulled out a seat at one of the tables in the med bay.

“Okay.” Lena hummed, practically flopping down into the chair.

Alex put together what she needed in the medical room and after checking the time decided to call Maggie. She knew her girlfriend was an early riser and most was most likely already up and about.

“Hey.” Maggie answered on the second ring.

“Hey, I didn’t wake you did I?” Alex asked just wanting to make sure.

“No I’ve been up for a while. How’s Lena?” Maggie asked, leaning on the kitchen counter.

“The drunkest I’ve seen her in quite a while.” Alex sighed.

“Really?”

“She punched her mirror.”

“Is she going to be alright?”

“Yeah she should be fine, I’m probably going to keep her here so she can rest after I patch up her hand though.” Alex explained.

“Right well that’s good.” Maggie nodded her head. “Am I passing this information on when sleeping beauty wakes up?” She questioned.

“Yeah you can tell Kara when she wakes up, I’ve got to go but I’ll call you again soon.” Alex replied.

“Okay love you.” Maggie hummed.

“Love you too, bye.” Alex hung up and headed back to Lena.

To Lena Alex was back in what seemed like moments later with everything she needed.

“How does it feel?” Alex asked, beginning to slowly unwrap the towel.

Lena took a moment to clearly contemplate the question before speaking. “Sore.” She came up with looking from her hand up to Alex.

“Right okay, well it’s definitely going to need some stiches.” Alex told her finally getting a good look at the lacerations around her middle knuckle. There was some swelling but not really enough to indicate that something was broken, but Alex kept in mind to X-ray it later on. “But I’m going to give it a clean and check for glass first.” She added, looking up at Lena who just nodded her head.

It turned out there were only a few small pieces of glass in the wound and after a proper clean appeared smaller than Alex had originally thought though still needing a few stiches.

“Ouch.” Lena grumbled with a pout as Alex was near the end of the second set of small stiches.

“Sorry.” Alex looked up briefly. “But maybe next time you get drunk don’t try and fight your refection.” She added with a cheeky smile.

Lena stuck her tongue at Alex, a response that was followed by a small smile.

“There, you’re all set.” Alex told her as she finished wrapping a bandage around Lena’s hand.

“Thank you.” Lena murmured in between a yawn, looking down at her bandaged hand and wiggling her fingers slightly.

“You must be exhausted.” Alex commented, Lena nodded her head. “Why don’t you hop up on that bed and we’ll hook you up to a drip with some water and you can sleep it off. How does that sound?” Alex asked standing up, moving to pull back the covers on the stretcher.

“Good plan.” Lena nodded her head again, and after taking her time to get up slowly walked over to the stretcher and lay down.

Alex went a got a few more supplies before rolling up the sleeve of the hoodie on Lena’s good arm and got to work, apologising to Lena as she heard the woman gasp slightly as she put the needle in.

“Hopefully this will help with the wicked hangover you’re probably gonna have when you wake up.” Alex told Lena as she finished hanging up the bag. Lena just grumbled a response and Alex smiled as she pulled the covers up and over Lena and started to tuck her in.

“Well look who finally decided to show up.” Lena scoffed slightly, looking past Alex.

Alex turned around slightly and saw Kara.

“Lena.” Alex hissed after turning back to look at the younger woman who was currently trying her best to pull the finger with her bandaged hand.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, I'm heading in to exams so it might take a while for the next chapter to come up, or it'll be up soon cause I procrastinated study, not quite sure which one it'll be yet, but anyways here is the new chapter let me know what you think :)

Kara didn’t wake up when Alex left that morning but she did when Maggie got up despite her best efforts not to wake the younger Danvers. Kara lay awake staring at the ceiling. She knew she needed to get up and she knew she needed to talk to Lena. Flying away yesterday wasn’t the right thing to do and Kara could see that now but it didn’t help how anxious she felt about the whole situation. And now knowing that Lena knows she is Supergirl and it wasn’t because she told her made her feel all the more terrible. Kara eventually got up and walking into the lounge saw Maggie in the kitchen making a cup of coffee.

“Where’s Alex?”

“Good morning to you too.” Maggie smirked slightly.

“Morning Maggie.” Kara smiled sheepishly, walking up to her sister’s girlfriend and giving her hug.

Maggie chuckled slightly wrapping an arm around Kara, holding her close for a moment. “Morning kid.”

“Is that bacon?” Kara looked over Maggie’s shoulder.

“Yep and there’s a little leftover Chinese in the fridge.” Maggie told her stepping back slightly to get her cup of coffee.

“You’re the best Mags.”

“Yeah, yeah I know.” Maggie chuckled, taking a seat around the kitchen counter.

“So where is Alex?” Kara mumbled through a mouthful of bacon.

“She’s at the DEO with Lena.”

“Is everything ok?”

Maggie hesitated slightly.

“Maggie?”

“Lena had an accident last night, where Alex reckons she punched a mirror. She’s going to be fine though Alex said she’s just patching her up, and they’re probably going to keep her there for the day.” Maggie explained in one breath.

“Rao” Kara breathed closing her eyes.

“Eat the leftovers and I’ll take you over?” Maggie half asked, presuming that Kara would want to get to the DEO as soon as possible but wanting her to at least have something to eat knowing that what Alex would want that as well.

Kara opened her eyes to look at Maggie and after a moment nodded her head. “Please.”

“Of course.”

 

* * *

 

When Lena met Kara’s eye she felt her heart leap up into her throat.

“Well look who finally decided to show up.” Lena scoffed slightly, looking past Alex.

Kara couldn’t help but frown a little at Lena’s words and her efforts to flip her off.

Alex turned around slightly and saw Kara.

“Lena.” Alex hissed after turning back to look at the younger woman who was currently trying her best to pull the finger with her bandaged hand.

“You need to rest.” Alex gently grabbed Lena’s hand and tucked her back in. Lena just grumbled something Alex couldn’t decipher as she rolled on her side, facing slightly towards the wall. “I’ll come back when you wake up.” Alex told her softly, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“Thank you.” Lena whispered after a moment, turning slightly to offer Alex a small smile.

Alex could see how glassy Lena’s eyes were and knew the younger woman was holding back tears.

“I can stay if you’d like?” She asked quietly, not wanting to leave Lena if she still needed her.

“No it’s ok Alex, you’ve already done so much.” Lena shook her head slightly.

Alex nodded her head a little. “I’ll see you later, there are nurses hanging around if you need anything if I’m not here when you wake up.” Alex explained, before stepping out of the room.

Lena nodded her head at Alex, eyes meeting Kara’s for a second. A second that felt like years. Before she turned back around facing the wall with a small shudder. Feeling so conflicted about everything Lena squeezed her eyes shut and willed sleep to come. Her body and her mind needed rest before she could logically face everything that had happened in the past 48 hours. It wasn’t long until utter exhaustion took over Lena and she finally fell asleep.

 

“I don’t know what Maggie told you but she’s in no state talk.” Alex walked up to Kara who was stood silently watching Lena.

“Why did she punch a mirror?” Kara spoke quietly, eyes not leaving Lena’s form.

“She was very drunk, but didn’t mention any underlying reason why. I can only assume there was one she doesn’t seem like the kind of person to just throw punches like that, even when intoxicated.” Alex trailed off slightly.

“She’s not.” Kara whispered. 

“She’s going to be fine Kar.” Alex put her hand in Kara’s. “She’s just got a few stiches by her knuckles and I don’t think her hand is broken.”

Kara let out a breath and squeezed Alex’s hand softly.

“You’re staying this time yeah?” Alex squeezed Kara’s hand back.

“Yeah.”

“Good, because she needs you just as much as you need her.” Alex voiced quietly.

Kara sighed with a small smile and a nod of her head.

 

* * *

 

Kara had done a few jobs throughout the day as Supergirl, but the only thing on her mind was Lena and when the younger woman would wake up. Maggie had stopped by the DEO around lunch time with food and coffee for Alex and a box of donuts for Kara. They had all stayed together and eaten until Kara got called back out on a mission. It was just after she had stopped a standard bank robbery late afternoon that Alex came over the coms telling her that Lena was starting to wake up. 

Kara landed in the DEO more nervous than she had been that morning. She briskly made her way to the medical bay where she found Alex standing just inside the room.

“How is she?” Kara asked, stepping in line next to her sister arms crossed over her chest.

“Her vitals are fine, she’s probably not going to be able to avoid a hangover and she’s nearly awake.” Alex replied, putting a hand on Kara’s shoulder before leaving the room.

Kara nodded and watched Alex leave before moving to sit in a seat that was close to Lena’s stretcher but not so close that she was invading her personal space. If her initial greeting that morning was anything to go by Kara didn’t want to push whatever point they were at by getting in Lena’s space if she wasn’t wanted. Kara watched Lena for a few moments as she moved around on the bed, before dropping her gaze to the floor as she could hear the changes in Lena’s heartbeat and breathing signally that she was awake.

“Kara?” Lena’s voice was small.

“Hey, Lena.” Kara replied quietly, looking up to meet piercing green eyes.

Lena groaned slightly as she sat up properly, her head throbbing. Much to her dismay even being hooked up to the drip didn’t help the massive hangover she was currently experiencing. Normally she could handle having a hangover, she had gone to plenty of meetings and conference calls after a night out. But something about sitting in the med bay at the DEO made it so much worse. Perhaps it was also looking at National City’s resident superhero and finally seeing her girlfriend underneath.

“Are you okay?” Kara stood up from the chair.

“Fan-fucking-tastic.” Lena mumbled back, closing her eyes as a particularly sharp pain crossed behind her eyes.

Kara couldn’t help but wince slightly at the swear word in between, but nonetheless moved to pour Lena a glass of water.

“Thanks.” Lena spoke, taking the glass Kara held out in front of her and taking a sip.

“We should talk.” Kara said softly after a moment.

“Kara, I can’t.” Lena managed shaking her head slightly, trying not to grimace.

“Lena.” Kara pressed quietly, this wasn’t something they could avoid.

“Kara, stop.” Lena’s voice hardened.

“You can’t ignore this.” Kara spoke up after a moment.

“I’m not ignoring it I just can’t do this, not right now, later.” Lena explained, squeezing her eyes shut. “Come to my apartment tonight, I’m not doing this here.” She added coolly, opening them again to look at Kara.

Kara stared at her for a second before nodding her head. “Ok.”

And for the first time an uncomfortable silence hung around them.

“Can you please get Agent Danvers for me.”

 

* * *

 

After a lengthy discussion, involving alcohol abuse and what not to do around mirrors with Alex, Lena had finally been discharged from the medical bay, with strict instructions to limit the use of her hand until the stiches came out in a fortnights time. It was just coming on dusk when Alex drove Lena back to her apartment, and made sure to tell her more than once that she and Maggie were just a phone call away. Lena had nodded her thanks and told Alex she’d see her tomorrow when she was scheduled to come in to have her bloods done.

Lena hadn’t been in her apartment for longer than it took her to have a shower and some food, when she heard the familiar sound of boots landing on her balcony. Taking a deep breath, she moved from in the kitchen to standing in front of the bench, watching as Kara dressed in full Supergirl getup opened the sliding door and stepped inside.

Kara opened her mouth to say something but Lena bet her to it.

“Why didn’t you tell me you’re Supergirl?” Lena asked, her calm and collected voice nearly causing Kara to shiver.

There had only been a few other times she had heard Lena like this, the first when Jack Spheer was killed and the second when Lillian had escaped prison. The fact that this conversation was ranking up against those made her stomach churn.

Kara opened and closed her mouth a few times, she had run over so many reasons why she kept this from Lena and circumstances in her head where she told Lena, but when faced with the reality she was speechless. Her words were completely lost.

The longer the silence the tighter Lena’s chest felt.

“Was any of it real?” Lena whispered, pained.

“It?” Kara repeated confused, finally finding her voice.

“It. This,” Lena gestured between them. “Us.” She finished.

“Rao- Yes! Lena of course! Why would think otherwise?”

“What was I supposed to think?” Lena challenged back, the sternness in her voice returning. “A Super keeping tabs on a Luthor isn’t exactly unheard of.” She practically sneered.

“Lena.” Kara frowned.

“No ok, last night I spent so much time thinking about all the what ifs and all the circumstances where I should’ve realised it was you under that cape, but I didn’t because I genuinely care about you and-” Lena started.

“Lena I care about you too! I would never take advantage of you like that, you weren’t meant to find out like this and I’m beyond sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” Kara couldn’t help but interrupt.

“Is it because I’m a Luthor? Is that why you don’t trust me? Why you didn’t tell me?” Lena all but whispered, almost too afraid to ask in fear of what the answer might be.

“Rao no Lena! You know I don’t care what your last name is, you are not your brother and I am not my cousin!” Kara exclaimed, moving her arms around the place.

“Kara just admit it if you truly trusted me you would’ve told me!” Lena shouted slightly, trying to keep her voice in check.

“Lena trust isn’t what this is about! I trust you with my life.”

“Clearly only one half of it.” Lena spat back, her voice like ice. Part of her felt the guilt instantly as she watched Kara wince at her words.

“Lena…” Kara closed her eyes.

“We’ve known each other for how long? I just- I don’t understand why you would keep this part of yourself from me.” She finished in a whisper, trying hard to conceal her emotions whilst knowing full well that with one look Kara would be able to tell she was on the brink of tears.

“You know all of me Kara.” Lena’s voice broke. “All of me!” She spoke raising her voice. “There’s nothing you don’t know.” She breathed, trying to calm herself. Turning with her back to Kara she rested her elbows on the kitchen countertop head in her hands. “How am I supposed to feel, knowing this whole time I’ve only known a part of you?” She spoke softly.

“You’re supposed to hate me.” Kara deadpanned after a moment looking up and Lena’s slightly hunched over frame. “You’re supposed to scream and yell at me and tell me you never want to see me again!” She carried on, walking closer over to Lena. “That’s what’s supposed to happen Lena and that’s one of the reasons I never got up the courage to tell you!” By this time Lena had turned around, tears running down her cheeks. “I was- I am so scared Lena.” Kara breathed shakily. “On this planet I’m virtually indestructible, logically I shouldn’t be afraid of anything, but the thought of losing you terrifies me.” Kara felt her own tears fall. “I’ve already lost so much I-I can’t lose you too.”

“You’re not going to lose me!” Lena shouted unable to contain the sudden anger that filled her, Kara clearly startled as Lena walked closer. “You’re not.” Lena tried again quieter this time. She wasn’t going to lose her; Lena had figured out months ago that there wasn’t a future for her that didn’t include Kara. And whilst still slightly conflicted about this new development she knew one thing for sure. “Kara.” Lena breathed and took a step closer. “I lo-”

Kara let out a yelp when a sudden pain scorched up her arm as Lena touched her wrist.

Lena wrenched her hand back faster than she could blink, with eyes wide and her mouth hanging open. She had completely forgotten. “I- I’m sorry, I’m so- sorry Kara.” Lena stammered out looking down at her hand. She hastily moved backwards until her back hit the kitchen bench with her hand clutched to her chest, needing as much distance as she could get between herself and Kara.

“Lena it’s okay.” Kara spoke calmly. “I know you didn’t mean to.” The sharp pain had lasted for mere seconds it was more the fact that she was caught by surprise that caused the Kryptonian to yelp.

“No- no it’s not okay, it’s not.” Lena shook her head as a fresh wave of tears fell and she couldn’t keep the sob that was building in the back of her throat at bay. She had hurt Kara. Physically hurt her. Physically hurt the girl of steel. Unintentionally of course but she couldn’t stand herself. The thought making her sicker by the second. “You should go. You need to leave. Y-you go.” Lena managed to get out as her body started to shake, tears rolling effortlessly down her already soaked cheeks as she pointed with one hand towards the balcony.

“Lena.” Kara pleaded.

“Go!” Lena shouted her voice cracking.

Kara didn’t move.

“Please...” Lena whispered breathlessly, only just holding herself together.

Kara stayed still for a moment before turning around and starting to walk towards the balcony, it took every fibre of her being not to stop and turn around, to reason with Lena to let her stay, to let her help. Kara stopped once she was outside and turn back to face Lena. Lena who was standing with one arm wrapped tightly around herself, the other hand covering her mouth.

And with a final shake of Lena’s head,

Kara was gone.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey I'm back, exams are over and done with so I should be able to update more regularly now :) as always thank you for your comments here's the next chapter!

Kara left. As much as she didn’t want to and as hard as it was to respect Lena’s wishes she left. Each step she took away from Lena heavier than the last. She left but didn’t go far. Kara pushed off the balcony and flew the few feet it was until she reached the roof from Lena’s penthouse, and all but collapsed. Tears clouded her vision as all she could hear was Lena’s broken cries in the apartment below. Each sob that reached her ears broke her heart. She hated it, hated Lillian, hated that anyone could ever think to hurt Lena like this, hated that kryptonite was keeping her from enveloping Lena in to arms, holding her until the tears stopped.

Kara slowly sat up wiping angrily at her eyes. With legs dangling over the edge of the building she looked out over the city, vowing then and there that wherever Lillian was she was going to pay for what she did, she and CADMUS were not going to get away this. An anger settled deep inside her in that moment, something she hadn’t felt since the red kryptonite incident. It should’ve scared her but this time she knew she had the control, had the power to stop it from consuming her. She leaned her elbows on her knees and looking down with her head in her hands she felt hot tears streak down her cheeks. Lena’s cries clenching her heart, as they continued she did everything in her power to hold back a scream of frustration. The pain never ended, the universe always dealing her the shitty hand, which only made life for the ones she was close to worse. Above hating Lillian and CADMUS, Kara hated herself. Her loved ones always became a target no matter what she did, they became another way to get to the girl of steel and it made her feel sick. Kara lifted her head from her hands and lay back looking up at the stars, even in darkness praying for Rao’s light to help her.

Around an hour later Lena’s cries had started to quieten down, and Kara decided to go back down.   

* * *

The second Kara was out of sight Lena crumpled to the ground. The hand covering her mouth desperately trying to hold everything in, trying to hold herself together. She pushed herself up so her back was against the counter she was standing at and tried to breathe. But the moment she closed her eyes the only thing she could see was Kara, and she broke. Unable to stop the wail that escape her lips as the tears freely flowed. Head hanging, she gasped for air as the sobs rattled her to her core. Her whole body ached. Lena had her fair share of heart breaks and equivalents from growing up with the Luthors, but this pain was agonizing. She had hurt Kara, hurt the woman she loved, right before she was about to tell her said fact. And god she loved her. She loved her so much that this pain almost made sense. She was a Luthor after all and nothing good ever happened to a Luthor. She never hated her last name more than she did in this moment. Life had been going so good, life with Kara was amazing. She was well and truly happy for what felt like the first time in a very long time. But the shadow of her last name always loomed, Lillian breaking out of the darkness to strike her down like she was nothing but a pawn. A pawn in her mothers disgusting game. It sickened her beyond belief the things her mother was capable of. This being a prime example. Lena knew she never meant much to Lillian but still using her to get to Kara was vile. Using her daughter. It really shouldn’t have been a surprise considering how many times it had happened before but it still haunted Lena causing her to shudder. Tears continued to fall as her thoughts spiralled.

* * *

Exhaustion was finally starting to get the better of Lena as she slowly but surely found it easier to breath and her body stopped shaking. Standing up Lena made it the few steps it was to the couch before collapsing on it, lying on her side head on the armrest and curling into a ball, arms wrapped tightly around her legs as her knees tucked into her chest. She focused on breathing her body almost finding the action foreign. It was after taking a deep breath that Lena heard it. A thud on her balcony.

Lena squeezed her eyes shut, telling herself she was just imagining things. Why would Kara come back? She had practically thrown her out it made no sense. It wasn’t until she heard what were most definitely footsteps and felt the blanket that had been over the edge of the couch being delicately draped over her body that she knew she wasn’t imagining anything. Opening her eyes Lena turned her head slightly and saw Kara standing behind the couch, looking almost as bad as she felt. Red rimmed eyes and a rosy nose indicating she wasn’t the only one who had been shedding tears. 

“You came back.” Lena’s voice cracked as she swallowed back more tears, moving to hold the blanket tightly around herself sitting up.

“Yeah” Kara smiled weakly with a watery laugh. “I’ll always come back Lena.” Kara would’ve sold her soul a thousand times over in that moment if she could only hold Lena as she watched a fresh wave of tears roll silently down her girlfriend’s cheeks.

“Oh Lena.” Kara breathed, biting her lip.

“Kara I jus- I just want-” Lena tried to speak through small gasps.

“I know baby, I know.” Kara felt tears pricking at her eyes, knowing that as much as she wanted Lena in her arms Lena wanted to be there as well. “We’ll figure this out, find a way to get rid of the kryptonite.” Kara explained moving from around the back of the couch to sit on the coffee table in front of Lena.

“What if we can’t.” Lena sighed with a small hiccup, closing her eyes as she leaned her head back on the couch.

“Don’t.” Kara shook her head. “Don’t think like that.”

“I’m a Luthor, knowing my luck I’ll be stuck like this forever.” She spat sourly, squeezing her eyes tightly shut.

“Lena you are so much more than your last name.” Kara told her, knowing how she still struggled in that shadow.

Lena just sighed. 

“We’ll be okay. We’ve got Alex, J’onn, Eliza is gonna come up and they’re all going help us figure this out, because I know we will find a way. I promise. And Rao when we do I’m going to hold you forever or until you tell me to let go.”

Lena opened her eyes and when she saw the determination on Kara’s face that she couldn’t help but be filled with hope and a hell of a lot of love. Kara’s ever present optimism only increased now as she promised so sure. “I don’t want you to let go.” She whispered, shaking her head slightly. 

“I won’t.”

A soft silence fell around them broken only by Lena as she spoke a few moments later.

“Eliza’s coming?” She asked quietly after a small yawn. 

“Yeah.” Kara breathed a smile. “Alex called her this afternoon.” She nodded her head. Lena had only met her adoptive mother a handful of times, but both woman got along very well and Kara loved watching them together. It warmed her heart to see Lena interacting with a mother figure that actually cared for her and was pretty adamant about showing it.  

Lena smiled a little. 

“You should sleep.” Kara told her softly watching her yawn again.

“Mhm.” Lena hummed. “Would, would you… never mind.” She looked down shaking her head slightly. 

“I’ll stay.”

Lena looked up eyes wide, filing the thought away for later to ask Kara if mindreading was one of her superpowers.

“On the couch, you should go to bed though.” Kara added with a small smile, not wanting to risk sharing a bed knowing how they would be both be drawn to one another. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Lena slowly stood up from the couch and ever aware of where her hands were, gently placed the blanket in Kara’s lap. Wordlessly she walked to her room, emerging a minute later with a pillow and a change of clothes.

“Thank you.” Kara smiled as Lena placed the clothes and the pillow on the couch.

Lena just smiled softly in return. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Lena.”

* * *

Lena lay awake, staring at the ceiling ignoring her body’s protest of wanting sleep, she just couldn’t will herself to get there. Turning over to look at the clock on the bedside table it read 4:02am. The knowledge that Kara was so close but yet still so far away kept her from actually falling asleep. She hadn’t felt this lonely and cold in her own bed in a long time, wanting nothing more than to be wrapped in Kara’s arms holding on to her tightly. After a few more restless minutes she decided she really wasn’t getting anywhere near sleep, so she got up to go and get a glass of water. She padded through the lounge trying to be as quite as possible not wanting to wake Kara up. She looked so peaceful asleep, Lena found herself side tracked leaning on the back of couch gazing at Kara with a fond expression on her face.

“Can't sleep?” Kara cracked one eye open with a small grin sensing Lena’s presence.

“Jesus Kara!” Lena jumped back startled. “You scared the shit out of me.”

“Sorry.” Kara chuckled slightly, sitting up and patting the space beside her.

“Were you even asleep?” Lena asked, cautiously moving around the couch to sit down next to Kara leaving a considerable amount of distance between them. The mantra in her head repeating over and over again ‘don’t touch her’.

“Not really.” Kara shook her head.

“Do you even, I mean do you need sleep?” Lena could stop herself asking. She knew she had definitely seen Kara asleep, most mornings she was the first one to wake up taking comfort in watching her girlfriends quite slumber. 

“Yeah.” Kara laughed quietly. “Not as much as you but yes sleep is necessary.”

“Right.” Lena nodded her head before running a hand through her hair.

“Why can’t you sleep?” Kara asked, moving the blanket over towards Lena so they could share. 

Lena smiled gratefully at the gesture carefully pulling some of the blanket over her legs, before looking down and beginning to play with the edge of it. “It’s just…nothing it’s stupid.”

“It can’t be stupid if it’s keeping you up.” Kara prodded softly.

Lena breathed out with a small smile. “It’s just hard to sleep without you.” She looked up at Kara. “And knowing you were just out here didn’t help.” She admitted quietly.

“I’m sorry Lena.” Kara whispered sadly.

“Don’t be sorry Kara this isn’t your fault.” Lena replied quickly, her voice stern wanting Kara to know that this was in no way her fault.

After a moment Kara nodded her head a little bit, she still felt awful that this was happening and couldn’t help thinking about the what ifs.

“Do you want to watch something? Considering how we are both very much awake” Kara suggested after a while, knowing Lena wouldn’t last the full length of anything she put on.

“Yeah why not.” Lena chuckled half heartedly. Even just sitting next to Kara was doing wonders for Lena and within the first half hour of the show Kara had put on she was out cold.

* * *

Lena woke up that morning to soft humming. She was on the couch with the blanket draped over her. Sitting up she looked around and true to her word Kara was there, in the kitchen cooking something for breakfast humming a tune she didn’t recognise. It was so surreal it almost felt normal.

Almost.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am beyond sorry at how long this has taken to update, I've got more of a structure and plan in mind of where this story is headed so it's just kicking myself to write it. Hope you enjoy :)

_Lena woke up that morning to soft humming. She was on the couch with the blanket draped over her. Sitting up she looked around and true to her word Kara was there, in the kitchen cooking something for breakfast humming a tune she didn’t recognise. It was so surreal it almost felt normal._

_Almost._

“Hey.” Lena spoke quietly, watching as Kara moved effortlessly through her kitchen.

“Morning.” Kara turned with a small smile when she heard Lena’s voice. “I hope you don’t mind, I just..” She started to ramble slightly, gesturing around the kitchen.

“It’s fine.” Lena smiled back, almost shaking her head at Kara’s adorableness. “What are you making?” She asked getting up from the couch, folding the blanket that had been draped over her before moving towards the kitchen.

“Waffles.” Kara replied as she finished mixing the batter. “But we might have to eat them quickly because Alex wants you back at the DEO to do some more blood tests.” She added solemnly.

And there it was. The picture of the perfect morning shattered, the events of the past few days coming straight back that sick feeling settling back in Lena’s stomach. She nodded her head at Kara’s words, resisting the urge to say when was there a time that Kara didn’t eat quickly. She took a seat at the kitchen counter and watched Kara continue to cook breakfast.

They almost comfortable silence was interrupted when Lena’s phone buzzed from the dining room table.

“Who is it?” Kara asked as Lena got up and grabbed it.

“It’s just Jess checking up on me.” Lena answered, reading the text. “I’m assuming someone at the DEO let her know what happened?” She looked up from her phone to Kara who nodded her head. Lena replied to Jess telling her she was fine but not to expect her at work for a couple of days. She knew she’d need the all clear from Doctor Danvers before she steps foot anywhere that wasn’t her apartment or the DEO.

“Breakfast is ready.” Kara said, placing a plate of waffles and fresh fruit down on the kitchen counter.

“Thanks.” Lena smiled making her way back to the kitchen counter, smiling slightly at how drenched in syrup Kara’s waffles were.

“What?” Kara asked softly, mouth half full standing opposite Lena in the kitchen.

“Nothing.” Lena shook her head taking a bite. Kara tilted her head, imploring Lena to speak what was on her mind.

“This just feels too normal..” Lena spoke after finishing her mouthful. “Like everything is ok, just your normal breakfast. And I just can’t stop thinking how not normal everything is right now. How not ok I feel.” Lena’s voiced wavered slightly.

Kara reached her hand over the counter intending to comfort Lena before stopping, her hand curling into a fist.

“See that.” Lena breathed out unevenly shaking her head. “How are we going to fix this?” She whispered.

“I’m not sure.” Kara sighed, looking down at her waffles. “But I know we are going to.” She said firmly, looking up at Lena. “And then you’ll be in my arms in no time.” She added with a smile.

Lena couldn’t help but smile back with a small nod. She sure hoped they’d be able to fix this soon.

Growing up you could call Lena touch starved in a sense, hugs and physical comfort weren’t really heard of in the Luthor household. Even as she grew older the few people Lena did let get close to her could never compare to the comfort and touches she got from Kara, even before they were dating. She missed Kara’s hugs god how she missed them, it had probably only been around 3 days but it felt like forever since she had been wrapped up in those strong arms. It wasn’t just Kara’s hugs that Lena craved, the simple touches are what she missed most. The way Kara would hold her hand or squeeze her arm lightly when she got excited talking about something.

“We should get to the DEO soon.” Kara said through another mouthful, stopping Lena’s train of thought.

“Yeah.” Lena agreed before taking another bite of waffle.

15 minutes later the pair were walking in to the large government building.

 

* * *

 

Alex couldn’t help the small smile that graced her lips when she saw the two woman walk in, they seemed to be on much better terms then when she had last saw them. It was Kara who saw Alex first.

“Hey Al.” Kara smiled walking over with Lena in tow.

“Hi Alex.” Lena said whilst the two sisters hugged.

“Hey guys, how are you?” Alex replied directing her question at Lena as she went in for a hug.

Lena accepted the hug with a small smile, grateful for the familiarity it brought. “I feel okay.” She answered not entirely truthful.

“Well that’s good, we’ll still do some blood tests if that’s alright?” Alex asked her.

Lena nodded her head. “Lead the way.”

“Supergirl.” J’onn called out.

“I’ll see you later.” Kara spoke before jogging over to where J’onn was in the control room.

Alex nodded before motioning her arm in the direction of the med lab. “This way.”

Lena followed Alex watching Kara until she was out of sight.

“You and Kara seem alright.” Alex commented as she walked into the lab, pointing at a chair for Lena to take a seat in.

“As alright as any couple in this situation I suppose.” Lena replied sitting down. “She came over last night and we talked, I just want to fix whatever this-” She gestured at herself, “is and move forward.” Lena finished.

“Fair enough.” Alex nodded her head as she readied a needle and some vacutainers. “We’ll be able to get the Kryptonite out of your system I’m sure.”

“I hope so.” Lena spoke quietly.

Alex turned around. “Right this might hurt a little.” A few minutes later Alex took the needle out of Lena’s arm and pressed a cotton ball over the broken skin. “Hold that for a moment.” Lena did as she was told, until Alex came back and put a small strip of medical tap over it holding it there. “I’m going to get testing this, and compare it to the sample I took yesterday.” Alex explained.

“I don’t suppose going back to work is on the table?” Lena asked although she was absolutely confident of the answer.

All Alex had to do was give her a knowing look and she chuckled slightly.

“There are a few confidentiality forms you need to sign that I can get now you know about Kara. And then if you want I can get a space set up here so you can do work? Just not go to work, not yet.”

“That would be great Alex.” Lena answered appreciatively, knowing there was some emails she could look over for upcoming projects. Lena leaned back in the chair as Alex left to get the forms unable to shake the feeling that something apart from the current situation was just not right.


	11. Chapter 11

_“Supergirl.” J’onn called out._

_“I’ll see you later.” Kara spoke before jogging over to where J’onn was in the control room._

 

“What is it J’onn?” Kara said as she appeared at the martian’s side.

“We’ve nearly located the CADMUS branch that the two men in holding are from.” He informed her. “I’ve read their minds and got all the useful information, but it appears they were kept relatively in the dark.”

Kara gritted her teeth at J’onn’s words, of course the men were useless. Lilian would’ve purposefully left them in the dark in the event they were captured. “You said branch, did these men have any contact with Lilian? Any knowledge about her whereabouts?” Kara asked, eyes absently looking over all the monitors before turning back to J’onn. She could feel her anger rising, momentarily taken back to the night before where she vowed to make sure Lilian paid for what she’s done.

J’onn shook his head frowning. “No.” He could sense Kara’s anger, almost matching it with his own. CADMUS had been going for too long they needed to put an end to this. “Agent Schott is triangulating the signals to get the location their correspondences came from, hopefully we will find a lead there.” J’onn spoke, Winn nodding his head from where he sat at his computer.

“Alright.” Kara nodded her head letting out a breath, at least it was a start. J’onn put his hand on Kara’s shoulder giving it a small squeeze, conveying without words that they were going to get CADMUS. Kara responded with a small smile.

There was silence in the control room Agents hard at work. Kara needed to do something, she was never that good at being patient, as if her needs were answered Winn spoke a moment later breaking the silence.

“There’s an apartment building on fire at the west end of 3rd Drive.”

“On it.”

 

* * *

 

Alex walked back into the lab, one hand pushing a wheely chair the other held the confidentiality documents. “Don’t tell Kara we have this in here.” Alex motioned at the wheely chair as she pushed it to the free end of her work bench. Lena raised an eyebrow. “Last time we had these types of chairs in here, lets just say there was quite a bit of equipment that needed replacing.” Alex explained causing Lena to chuckle.

“Sounds like Kara.” Lena said, getting up and walking over to where Alex was placing down the documents.

“They’re pretty standard forms, a couple of signatures here and there.” Alex explained, moving to get a pen as Lena sat down. “Once you’re done I might have another look at that hand.” She added pointing at Lena’s bandaged hand. Lena nodded her head.

Alex let Lena be to read through the forms and began to prepare her blood sample to look at. Sometime later with forms signed, her hand checked and given the all good, Lena got her phone out and started going over emails. The pair did their respective work in a comfortable silence for some hours that was until Kara came in declaring it was lunch time holding up bags of take out.

“I brought lunch!” Kara explained, grinning at the takeout in her hands. “This is yours Alex, I set up a table and chairs on the balcony for us.” Kara added as she put a bag with some chinese down on her sister’s desk, smiling at Lena in the process.

“Thanks Kara.” Alex grinned at the food.

Lena smiled back and got up. “Lead the way.”

“I got you that salad you like but also extra potstickers that we can share.” Kara told her as they walked over to the balcony.

“Thank you.” Lena replied, smiling at the set up on the balcony, it was almost set up like the balcony at Catco where they often shared lunches.

Sitting down was when Lena noticed what looked like soot on the tip of Kara’s nose and a little on her cheek. “You got a little.” Lena made a wiping notion on her nose, frowning slightly when she found herself reaching out to do if for her.

“Oh right.” Kara wiped at her face and nose getting the soot off. “There was an apartment fire this morning, got everyone out safe just as fire depart put out the blaze.” Kara explained and Lena nodded her head.

They ate lunch in a comfortable silence, Lena ending up having a couple of potstickers with her salad even though she wasn’t overly hungry. Kara managing to wolf down her fried rice, sweet and sour and her portion of potstickers. Once finished and thanking Kara again for lunch Lena stood and moved to the railing of the balcony, leaning on it she looked out at the city.

“Quite a nice view.” Lena hummed as Kara stood up and joined her.

“Mhm.” Kara agreed looking at Lena before casting her eyes out onto the city.

That gaze at Lena brought back thoughts from the night before, what Lena had almost said before touching her wrist and asking her to leave. Kara hadn’t really thought about it properly until that moment she stared at Lena looking out at the city. She knew it probably wasn’t the best time to bring it up but Kara couldn’t help herself.

“So… What were you going to say the other night?” Kara spoke, knowing how close Lena had gotten to those three words.

“I think you know exactly what I was going to say.” Lena chuckled slightly, giving her a side glance before looking back out at the city below.

“I know, but I want to hear you say it.” Kara pressed on softly.

Lena stayed quiet for a moment before turning to face Kara. “I love you.”

The blinding smile she got as a response brought a tear to her eye, as it was accompanied by the thought that she couldn’t reach out and hold her girlfriend close.

“I love you too Lena, so much.” Kara said, moving her hand closer to Lena’s on the railing. It warmed Lena’s heart hearing those words but her tears still fell.

“I’m sorry.” Lena laughed softly, wiping away her tears. It was stupid, this whole situation was stupid. Lena had never hated her Mother more than she did in that moment, Lilian’s actions keeping her from what could’ve been a tender moment. Instead it was bittersweet. Lena would’ve thought the first time you tell someone you love them was meant to fill you with joy and happiness but what she was feeling at the moment was far from it.

“Don’t be.” Kara shook her head with a small smile, wishing for nothing more than to be able to touch Lena, hold her and tell her everything was going to be alright.

“Sorry to interrupt.” Alex’s voice suddenly startling the pair. “But there’s something I’d like a second pair of scientific eyes to look at.” The tone of Alex’s voice making both woman nervous. 

 

* * *

 

Lena looked down the microscope at the two different samples of her blood, holding her breath at what she saw. Stepping back from the microscope and looking up at Alex’s frown gave her all the conformation she needed that the agent had come to the same deduction she had. Kara frowned at their interaction and stepped up to have a look down the microscope herself before she spoke.

“There’s a higher level of Kryptonite in her blood.”

**Author's Note:**

> hey let me know what you think! you can find me on tumblr at super--luthor if you wanna chat about how supercorp had taken over your life or anything my inbox is always open!


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